1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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