I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
