And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
