There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
