i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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