I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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