He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
