I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
