Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
North Korea, Best Korea!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
