I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
