So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
