There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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