there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
