Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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