definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
