apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
