You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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