drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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