Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
