That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I smell stomach acid.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
