People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Alive.
So much puke
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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