My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
