The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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