used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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