So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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