i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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