you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
