$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
