What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
