I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sarcasm needs its own font
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
