Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
