that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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