hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
