I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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