my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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