i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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