Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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