i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
