THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
