Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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