i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
