I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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