I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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