When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
