Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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