I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
