Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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