Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
