I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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