do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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