Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize