Got a toothbrush?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
