shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
