Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
