The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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